Malie turned 5!

On Thursday my little roo turned 5 years old and soon she will be going to kindergarten and time is going to fly by, not that it already doesn't. We had a really great day on her birthday, one of the best. My dad took the day off and because we were going to dinner that night Josh had to go to sleep during the day so he could get up and go to dinner with us and than he had to go to work. So that day my dad came down for a breakfast with Malie of strawberry pancakes with cool whip, yummy! We opened presents and than we got ready to go down to Morrel Hall in Lincoln to see dinosaur bones! Malie's aunt Brittney came with us and on the way down we stopped at Red Lobster, one of Malie's favorite places to eat. My dad and I both don't like seafood so we went with some very yummy chicken, but Malie ate her shrimp in like 2 min! and than wanted more! So after lunch off we went to the museum.

Malie looks so small. Even a picture doesn't show how massive a mammoth was. Crazy! But after our trip to lincoln we had to head back and wake up josh to go to dinner at the Spaghetti Works in Ralston. Dinner was pretty good as you can see Malie got some ice cream for her birthday :)



Then on the way home we stopped down at the end of Mainstreet to see flooding from the Missouri River.

So we have been having a great summer so far. My sister in law leaves tomorrow to go to Jamaica and get married, I wish we could have gone too. But we are gonna send our love with them and we'll see them when they get back. So happy day to everyone! Hope you have a good week!

A day out with my love bug

I love having a day with my love bug just being out and about and yesterday we went to the Farmers Market. My dad was supposed to go with us but he ended up having to work :( So Malie and I went and got the oil changed in the car and than went downtown. I forgot that the Arts festival was going on so that was plus for us when we got there. We walked around for a bit and got a few things from the market and Malie got a spider painted on her face. She for some reason always wants things like that when it comes to face paint. I don't have a girly girl on my hands! Last weekend when we went to the farmers market I debated bringing my camera and decided not to and of course I get there and wish that I would have brought it. So this time I did and got a few pictures. I want to get some more the next time I go. After we spent a couple hours there we came home and Malie took a nap. Josh was at drill so when he got home we got ready and went to dinner with some family for his dads birthday. I love spending time with his family, but it makes me miss my own so much! Oh the other day I went down into our cellar to see if we got any water down there from the massive rain we got and there wasn't too much so that was good, but there was a massive spider. I couldn't kill myself too big! So yesterday josh went down there and took care of it after I took a couple pictures of it. When they are that big I just get scared. I'm a wuss. And on another note, but bestie is here now for a while for the summer with her two kiddos! I can't wait to spend some time with them. I miss them so much when they are in Texas. Hoping to see them in a couple days! Today I think is a movie day, it is Sunday and it's time to relax. I might do a little cleaning but well see! Have a good day!!!

Gentlemen singing in the Old Market

 Pretty Flowers!

 Sunset from the other night.

Malie's spider

My favorite one from the Arts festival.

Our giant spider that was in the cellar. Yuck!

Momma guilt..it sucks..

Again it has been awhile since I have written on here. I've been forgetting about it and have gotten kinda busy. School is out and that means that I am back to being a full time stay at home momma. Which I love, especially since once she starts school again time is just gonna fly by. But earlier this week she as a turd! Lying about the littlest things and not listening at all, and of course it leaves me feeling like I have been yelling and repeating myself all day long when at the start of the day I had great plans. Hence mommy guilt. It sucks. Plus I finally got my puppy! He is really cute, we drove down to the Lincoln Humane society to get him, they said he is a bluetick coonhound mix. We are pretty sure he is mixed with black lab because that is what he looks like. His name is tremonti, after josh's idol Mark Tremonti. He is actually pretty good pups so far, but like any new baby or puppy things have been a little more stressful and less sleep. He gets along well with our chloe pupper too. All in all things are going good though. On a more serious note.... My grandpa has had COPD for a long time now and is in the end stages, he is in hospice at home and it had been kind of an up and down experience. He will be doing fine and than wham! he isn't doing so great and we are deciding when to go up or if we should go up, because he could stabilize again. And so far that is the pattern, but his body is really starting to shut down more and more now. He sleeps more, eats less, and remembers less too due to the lack of oxygen. My dilema is when to go see him. I am worried about my mom, anytime anything happens she rushes up there, just in case it is the last time, and I know that one of these times it will be and she is going to be so hurt. My grandma has been by his side through literally thick and thin, married for 50+ years! What will she do when he is gone, I worry for her too. So I mostly worry for them. Every time lately when the phone rings I am afraid it will be my mom on the phone, and I always listen for what her voice sounds like, if she is crying or not. My job will be to take care of her, she is the one losing her dad. I will be sad and I am already, but I am more worried about my mom. Knowing this is coming has made me appreciate my own father a lot more. Every time he goes to leave from coming down to visit with us, I almost don't want him to go, because one day I won't have my dad anymore. So I think we are going to try to go see my grandpa in a couple of weeks. It's going to be hard, I just hope he can make it that long. But I know that if I don't get up there in time to see him before he passes that he knows that I love him and I know he loves me so I will be okay with it.

 Malie and Tremonit cuddling, he actual slept like this with her :)

 Flowers after a storm.

 Tremonti 9 weeks

Malie playing the endless game of malie putting chloe's ball in her bike and chloe chasing her around.

Changing my mind again!

Sorry it has been a while, been pretty busy around here, or at least it feels like it! I have been working at least 2 days a week, doesn't seem like much and maybe it isn't but it's enough for me right now. Josh has been getting back to normal and my little love bug has been becoming more defiant and I'm starting to wonder who replaced her? But with some new house rules and some steps for bullying at school, I think we will be alright. So on to the reason for this blog. I have always been very interested in psychology and love to learn anything about it. I have 24 credit hours in early childhood education with a GPA of 3.8 and I know it's time to jump in with both my feet and really get moving on the next step of education and that is really buckling down and pursuing either psychology and go towards research maybe, some sort of research with children or honestly there are so many things about psych that interest me I feel like I could just hop around all the time picking and choosing what to do next. Or... social work with children. If I decide to do social work I would have 81 more credit hours to go, but for psych it would be more than that. Social work classes are something that I would still like learning about and it would provide me with being able to work with children and their families and make a difference. I am trying to remember what are my strengths and what I am naturally good at and those things seem to be... Listening, I am usually the listener of problems and not so much the talker and I don't mind it. I can keep a secret, great with kids especially when they are upset or angry. I want to make an impact. A weakness I have though is that I can pump myself up and say " I can do it" and than I get scared, of what I don't know, but it just seems like so much work. I know that I can do it but geez! So it's time to jump in I think. Of course I'm gonna bounce this off the hubby and see what he thinks, he always helps me to think about it a little closer.

On a lighter note I have been really wanting to go take pictures at the Botanical gardens and so when it gets nice and I get a day to myself I think I'm gonna head up there and take some pictures. I have taken a few around here lately that I will put up. Malie has started soccer and her team has not won a game yet, but there not really games at her age. They just run around and kick the ball. She seems to like it and she looks really cute in her soccer stuff.

Alright so I was going to put up some pictures but it's taking forever and I am tired so we'll save them for the next post. Goodnight!

Finally some good news!

After a week home with the little roo for spring break we had a busy day on Monday. Monday the little one went back to school and we headed up to the VA for a CT scan for Josh. After the tests we came home for a bit and picked up malie from school early and back up to the VA for a doctor's appointment where we found out that he is in remission!!! Great news and we feel relieved! But there is a voice in the back of my head that feels like what if they didn't take enough time to look, or maybe I would feel better if I saw it myself. Even though I am not a trained professional but I think it would make me feel better. Josh's doctor at the VA is sending an email to our second opinion doc. Dr. Voss from UNMC to let her know the results and see how often she thinks he should have a check up or scans. It if wasn't for the VA paying for all of this I have no idea how we would have survived financially through all of this. I don't know how people do it! We have been very lucky in that aspect.

After our good news we had Kindergarten round up! Can't believe my little girl is going to kindergarten next year. We didn't stay for the parent meeting though and we went and got a pizza with my sis in law and brought it home and celebrated! My sister in law seemed like the perfect person to be there with us that night, she came to a lot of the treatments and was a big support for Josh. He loves his sissy! His dad was at a lot of treatments too, as many as he could be! Just want to say thanks to all that have supported us and given us good thoughts and prayers. I know that I put a blog on here about support and yes that is how I felt and still do, but you feel like your a lone sometimes when your going through it no matter how much support you have. So for now we have good news, let's hope it stays that way!!!

Is one going to be enough?

After we had Malie, Josh and I as a couple decided that one was good and we were happy with just the one little love fart that we have. I have felt that way for a few years now and still do pretty much. There have been plenty of people letting us know that we will change our minds and have more, but will we really ever? The answer is yes and no for me. Josh is a big no! I can't help that when I see a prego belly or a new baby that I feel that I would love to have another one. That I could go through everything all over again and Malie could be a big sister. Which by the way she would be great, I can already picture her touching my big ole belly. Which is why I am torn. Part of me wants that for her and us, but than again I do love the way our life is now. Life is easier as a family of three. If you include our puppers it's four. I like the thought of only having to provide for one and giving my best to one and not split my time and wish I had more time with each child. But I would if it happened! With cancer being a part of our life it is another thing to think about too. So for now I do think one is enough. I like that she is my little buddy and I hope that I can keep it that way, she gets my time and I like that we can read as many books as we want and do what we want, within reason. I know that she gets more than say a child would if they had siblings but I don't see her as a spoiled child. We say no a lot and try to teach her that you have to earn the fun/nice things. You don't just get them for acting like a butthead! I recently read an article about only children or siblings and they posed a great question " Would you be happier?" So simple but my answer is I don't think so, I am happy now. Would I be happy if another child were in the picture too, of course, but I don't need the excuse of it making me happier to have another. I am hoping though to get another puppy though!

Doing a happy dance!

Tomorrow is the final treatment and lets all hope it is the final one of his life!!!! The past week or so I was afraid and feeling a lot from all of this, but I am feeling better now and I am excited for tomorrow to be the last one. Things around here have been going pretty good, nothing to fully complain about. I am still focusing on spending time with people that are important to me so I went to lunch with two of my best friends, one with Erin and the super cute baby Beckett and than yesterday I went to lunch with Stephanie. And since I can't just go spend time with Ashley we have resorted to the usually phone/text conversation. I have been helping my sister in law with the table decorations for her wedding reception in July and working when I can. With the nice weather that has been showing it's face around here everyone once in a while we have been able to get some fresh air. I am ready for spring and to be able to put this camera to even more use soon. So below are some pictures from the past week. Hope you enjoy!!

Josh playing his guitar

 Table decoration for Brittney's wedding.

Malie's "tree's" she planted. lol.

" I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness."

- The Dalai Lama from The Essence of Happiness